Mom is Another Word for Superhero
What Makes a Superhero?
Do you have superhero qualities? Yes? No? Don’t know? Do you ever wonder what makes a superhero? Like, what do you have to do? What kind of qualities does a superhero have? If you ask me,… which I know you didn’t, but that’s beside the point…
Moms are superheroes!
Afterall, YOU are the very first superhero your child will know. You are the Great Protector, the Amazing Multitasker. The baker of yummies and the fixer of owies. You are MOM!
Your babies will look to you for comfort and guidance. They know that you’re the one who will protect them, feed them and snuggle them. You may not wear a cape (at least not in public) or fly, but your kids know they can count on you to SAVE THE DAY whenever you hear their secret call: “MOM!”
To your child, YOU ARE A SUPERHERO!
Unfortunately, you will also probably be the first villain your child will ever know. Especially when the Frump creeps in and your mood grows dark.
Frump zaps your strength, your energy, your will power and leaves you lethargic and super grumpy. There’s nothing worse than a Frumpy Grump and that’s exactly what happens when the Frump seeps in.
The Frump comes in… The Grouch comes out
And leaves your poor kids feeling confused and maybe a little bit scared. Afterall, the other day when they jumped off the couch and scared you spitless you didn’t scream half so much. Why scream so much now?
Especially when you look so comfy, all sprawled out on the couch in yesterday’s pajamas, eating last night’s pizza and on your third soda pop. Geez Mom!
Wait, let’s get back to the Superhero stuff….
What are Superhero qualities?? – yeah, that’s what we were talking about before the FRUMP crept into our conversation.
Let’s back up a minute
Do you think anyone every sets out to be a Superhero? OR Do you think it just happens by accident? Do you think it’s the person’s nature to DO GOOD when they can and then end up becoming a hero? Maybe a little of all that?
My own mom once told me that she always wanted us to think of her as a hero. She grew up adoring her grandmother as her own superhero and she knew early on that she wanted to be like that (or even better) for her kids. Mom never wanted to be a villain – not even for a day. So she worked hard at it. Always trying to DO THE RIGHT THING, to TAKE THE HIGH ROAD. And, honestly, I really think it paid off for her. I mean, she was a great mom AND she made good money in her career.
So, yeah…. I want to be like that for my own kids.
It sure beats being known as a FRUMPY chip crunching, soda slushing, sad-sack couch potato.
Okay, so let’s say…
I want to try to be a Superhero to my kids. What do I need to do? I know we’re exploring, but let’s not worry what anyone else thinks, unless it’s family, of course. Yet, in my case – I’m still not gonna care because they’re all a bunch of busy-bodies. Sorry, but that’s the truth.
So the #1 thing, the most important thing we can do for our children, I believe, is to listen to them. I know, I know, you thought I was going to say something like buy every toy they can point to and feed them any thing they want to eat. But NO – it’s much harder than that.
Listening is a bit of a challenge (especially when they get excited and squeak) or a balancing act. If you shush your friends to hear your kids, then they grow up thinking they deserve a higher priority and everyone should shush when they speak. If you don’t listen to them with the same respect you would an adult, they feel invalidated and unheard. Later, unworthy.
I’ve learned from watching friends who have well-behaved kids, that the best approach is to squat down on their level, meet them eye to eye, and listen to what they have to say. At least occassionally. Here’s a bonus, you’ll develop some awesome thighs and killer glutes by the time your kid is three years old.
The 2nd most important thing in your Superhero repertoire (thank goodness for autocorrect!) is to BE HONEST. It’s so easy to blow kids off as being to young to understand. But think about this a moment – can you remember being lied to as a child? How did that make you feel?
How do you think it makes your child feel when you don’t tell the truth? Can you think of a good reason NOT to TELL the TRUTH? Why not just tell them, “the answer is complicated so here is the short version?”
This one is even HARDER
Keep your Promises! Here’s the problem with promise-breakers. People learn not to trust you. Then, they learn not to believe you so they start to blow you off. They’ll start to lie to you because they figure you don’t care enough (meaning you don’t respect them enough) to keep your promise, so why should they?
Do you find your late all the time? Do you find you have to “make up for” something you weren’t able to, or couldn’t do?
Here’s the harsh truth
My mom taught me – keeping your promises is all about Integrity. If you say you’re going to do something, then you should make every effort to do it when and how you said you’d do it. This goes from keeping BIG promises all the way down to actually spanking your kids if you say you’re going to spank them. Don’t make empty promises. Don’t make empty threats. Keep your WORD.
Try your best! This is the same as GIVING IT YOUR BEST. Yep, yep, this is where Frump Fighting comes in. It’s real easy to fall into the trap of saying it’s not important so I don’t need to do my best. Think about this for a moment: What are you saving by not doing your best? Money $$ Time ?? Both? What does it actually mean to give it your best?
Say you’re making a PB&J sandwich, and you slap a spoonful of jelly in the middle of one slice and a spoonful of peanut butter in the middle of the other slice – then SLAP those two pieces of bread together. That is a slapped together sandwhich (literally!) and what did it actually save you (or cost you) to not spread the PB&J from end to end? It saved you about 1 minute. Seriously!
Here’s another example: You know you need to get up early in the morning to prepare for something special. What will it cost you to NOT think about it a little bit tonight and prepare whatever you can in advance? Think about how much time it takes to prepare in advance compared to what it takes to do it all in the morning? Where’s the savings?
Sometimes doing your best ONLY means taking the time to THINK about what you’re doing.
There’s probably a lot more than FIVE qualities, but I think it’s all coming clear now and I won’t need to go further. Number 5 is: Keep Calm and Have Fun! I think one of the worst things we can do for our children is panic and stress about every little hiccup, scrape, cut or bounced check. Seriously! What’s the point of panicking? It’s too late. The deed is done – now deal with it like a rational adult.
Yes! Adulting is hard, but I have faith you can do it. I mean, if I can, I know you can.
Now, having FUN is another story….
Always be thinking about how you can make a boring, mundane chore more fun. How to turn homework in to an adventure. Find ways to laugh. Find ways to play. Be creative. Make things by hand. Even if they turn out ugly or taste awful, it’ll still be a fun adventure. I want to be the kind of mom that my own kids can remember with a smile.
So yeah, maybe I’ll go find an old towel to tie around my neck,… dig out some black leggings,… find a leftover Halloween mask, and I’ll make my own superGirl outfit. Maybe I’ll do that!
One thing is for sure,….
I don’t EVER want my kids to think of me as a frumpy, dumpy sour puss… chip munching, soda slushing,… droopy drawer, torn-spaghetti-stained-T-shirt wearing FRUMP!
How about you?