And,… It’s a really BIG Thing.
Maybe you’ve never thought about FRUMP and FRUMP FIGHTING and probably never gave it a name. But, it’s a thing all right.
Allow me to explain,…
What is a superhero, if it’s not MOM? Afterall, you are the very first superhero your child will know. You are the Great Protector, the Amazing Multitasker. The baker of yummies and the fixer of owies.
You are MOM!
Sadly, I was having a bad week. I didn’t think I could talk about being anything SUPER when I was feeling like such a frumpy loser myself. I knew nothing positive was going to come out of me hitting the keyboard (oh, don’t let the blonde hair and sweet smile fool you – I can be quite sarcastic and nasty when I let loose!) so I canned the idea.
I knew I was being whiny and frumpy but I just couldn’t seem to snap out of it.
Then, when I was working my own sad self out of a nasty little Frump Rut,
If I could hit a frumpy low spot after declaring myself THE No Frump Mama, even after making Frump Fighting my mission in life, then anyone could!
So I jumped the track and decided to take this blog on a detour. (Hey, I’m allowed, especially if there’s a chance it will help! So, you’ll hear my ideas about Superheros in the next post – Part Deux )
I think a problem we face right up front is this – when we see someone looking all saggy and frumpy at our local dollar store, we automatically make a couple assumptions.
we assume Frump has something to with budget. Well, let me nip that in the bud right now. I’ve seen lot’s of movie stars in the tabloids looking Frumpy as all get out!
we assume Frump has something to do with having kids. Ditto the above. I’ve seen plenty of kidless frumps!
we assume Frump, when it’s us doing the Frumping, that no one notices.
WRONG on all counts!
Oh boy, but don’t we? So, NO – Frump has nothing to do with being a mom. Nothing to do with money. And, it really doesn’t have a lot to do with your clothes, either, unless you’re wearing tops two sizes too big and bottoms that look like you mopped the floor with them.
It has everything to do with your state of mind.
Believe me ladies,…
Frump is a beast that will sneak up on you and knock you off your game in 2 minutes flat. Frump will leave you moping around in a spaghetti stained T-shirt and droopy drawer sweat pants, eating chips and M & Ms on the couch, while watching Judge Judy re-runs.
Your kids come home from school and start whining, fussing and fighting with each other. To top it off, your honey comes home and sees your Frumpy self spread out on the sofa and decides to unload on you. Then a bad day turns into a bad evening.
And sadly, it probably all started over something ridiculously simple.
Tell me if you’ve ever had this happen to you:
You’re in a hurry so you rush out the door to drop the kids off. Then something simple happens, like maybe another mom blocks you in at the parking lot at school. This makes you angry, but you decide you better not get out and confront her ’cause you’re wearing a dirty T-shirt you found on the floor this morning and no bra. (You don’t care that everyone has one boob bigger than the other, but you’re not about to let them see you belong in Ripley’s Believe it or Not!) Besides, the other mom looks pretty darn good: I mean, her hair’s all done up, she’s got makeup on, and wearing a cute outfit (one you want, maybe) and WOW – those shoes!… Damn! So NO, you’re not getting out of the car.
Instead, you hunker down behind the steering wheel and and invent new cuss words.
By the time you get to drive off, you’re so mad you’re planning where and on whom you’re going to get to use all those new cuss words.
Now this is about when
The trouble really starts. It’s one thing after another. The car starts making a knocking sound. The road ahead is blocked off and the other drivers won’t let you merge. It’s not better at home. Something always breaks. Things fall out of cabinets. You lose something important. Someone needs you. Your mom calls. The school calls. Next thing you know, you’re having a really crappy day and you just want to go hang your head in the toilet and flush it a few times. Well, almost, right?
I tell you
Once I’m on the negative side of the Happiness Pendulum, it seems all kinds of little things contribute to a really pissy mood. And for me, a pissy mood leads to Frump-ville.
Yeah, (Frump-ville is a better word than the one floating around my head!) it’s when I’m grumpy and sad, even mopey. I snap at anyone and everyone. I stay in loose, baggy, dirty clothes. I don’t put on makeup, brush my teeth, or do my hair. I eat junk food all day and watch stupid re-runs.
Why is that?
Like treating myself badly is really going to make anything better! Why, then, do I take it out on myself when things go wrong? Do you do that too? I know for a fact, we don’t deserve this!
But here’s the deal:
No one in this world will treat you Any Better than you TREAT yourself. Not even the universe itself.
So, when I talk to people about breaking out of Frump’s grip, I remind them if they want a better future, they have to start by treating themselves better. I tell them do these 6 things: Wash your face and brush your hair. Brush your teeth, and put on some mascara or lip gloss. Put on a nice fitting outfit (even if it’s not new and fashionable!) just so it fits you rather than hides you, and finally – stand straight and put on a smile!
You will find it only takes ten minutes to do that for yourself – even if you have to lock yourself in the bathroom, even if you’re getting a late start on the day cause that lady blocked you in – even if it’s after you spent ten minutes hiding behind your steering wheel – DO THIS FOR YOURSELF! Then, you will feel better.
THAT’S FRUMP FIGHTING! THAT’S BEING YOUR OWN SUPERHERO!!
A better future, starts with a better now.
& YOU ARE WORTH IT!
When you treat yourself better, with respect and dignity, with kindness and compassion, you’re essentially kicking Frump to the curb. You’re telling the world you deserve better and you won’t accept less. You start setting higher standards, better boundaries, expecting more and,…..
But this doesn’t mean it won’t be an uphill battle.
I thought I had this Frump stuff all figured out and yet, it got me again. Ugh! Near as I can tell, Frump is something that sneaks in and overtakes you when you’re already feeling low. Frump fights dirty like that.
And then, we make things worse by believing the lie that Frump isn’t so bad – it’s just life – I just wanna be comfortable – it just is what it is.
But it’s not true.
That’s Frump digging in deep into your head. Messing with your psyche.
Don’t let it! It’s never too late to start fighting back!!
I know this turned into a little pep talk but I hope you got a giggle (or at least a smile) out of you and helped you see that when it comes to FRUMP, you are never alone. We’re out here… fighting….
Come on and fight with me. Fight hard. Fight dirty. Fight every day!